In honor of Halloween, I wanted to talk about some of the most horrible, insidious, and soul sucking creatures in the world. I am talking about obnoxious people.

It is interesting to me the different reactions I receive when I announce my plans for adoption. Some people squeal and hug me as though I just announced my fourth month of pregnancy. Some people pleasantly say "Congratulations" as their eyes belie their smiles with looks of pity or of their own longing.And there are some people that are just plain rude.

Ahh, rude people. There is one for every occasion and for every walk of life. They are like greeting cards, but never welcome. There are rude people for adoption, like the woman who proceeded to tell me all about her friend's horrible experience and how the agency she used stole her money. Or the woman that says,"Oh, that's nice. Fortunately I never had to do that. I am just so fertile my husband just has to look at me and I'm pregnant!" There are rude people for work, like the co-worker who makes snide comments about your life such as "Well, not all of us have been here for fifteen years." Or the person who sits on your desk and cries to you about all of her personal problems so you feel sorry for her. Oh, and let's not forget the rude people in the family, like my friend's mother who told her that it is too bad her daughter has not found a job that means something to her and "probably never will."

So, since I am studying training objectives right now in school and since I work for a company that loves acronyms, I would like to offer assistance to all the rude people out there. I propose a training seminar required for the terminally rude.

Objective: After attending the seminar, participants, without using their notes, will be able to function in normal, polite society without making anyone wish to slap them on a daily basis.

This seminar uses the THINK method to personal rudeness management.

T- "Ten bucks no one cares." Everyone has opinions and you are entitled to them. The thing is, other people have opinions as well that are not the same as yours. This also works for inappropriate topics of discussion, like toe fungus.

H- " Hater is another word for Jealous." Being rude to someone because they have what you wish you had is a waste of energy. No one should have to feel bad about themselves because of your insecurity.

I - "It's not all about you." This might come as a surprise, but most people are not rearranging their lives to accommodate you. People can offer some support and advice along the way, but ultimately it is your responsibility to take care of your emotional well being. Seek a therapist, read a book, whatever...deal with your own issues.

N - "No one died and left you in charge." Last time I checked, there is not an actual job for the morality police. It is not your job to tell other functioning adults what you think they are doing wrong in their lives. Unless someone asks, keep it to yourself.

K- "Know when to shut your mouth." Sometimes you need to just stop talking. Pay attention to the person you are speaking to. If they are staring at you with their jaw dropped in horror, then it might be a good time to zip it.

Please share this with all the obnoxious people you know and remember...THINK, before you say something stupid!