Some bad news is buzzing around Ethiopian adoption on-line groups. It seems a family was denied their adoption because of their blog. The blog had pictures of the children they were hoping to adopt before the children were legally theirs. The blog also advertising their fund raising efforts to pay for adopting costs. The blog made statements about the state of the village where the children were from and the state of Ethiopia.

The blog was not favored by the Ethiopian government and therefore neither were the parents. They were denied the right to adopt from Ethiopia. It seems like a not-so-nice person tipped off government officials there out of spite. Very cruel. Another mom has more info on her site on this post, but it is all over the place.


In response to the news, people do what people have done for centuries in times of crisis and fear...they try and protect themselves. Fight or flight all the way. Pictures have been removed. Stories edited. Blogs are now invitation only. One mother that I have been reading has now blocked her site, just a day away from her court date. I hope she returns. I feel like I am a page away from the story being resolved and someone turns out the lights and steals my book. And then smacks me in the back of the head for good measure. It just doesn't seem fair. But the reality is, it is sort of fair. Parents are hoping, praying, and begging for this country to bestow the privilege of raising their children. Their sweet native sons and daughters. Today these children belong there. It is their home. Their country, their home, their rules. Period.


This is one of so many difficult parts about adoption. It is truly an emotional roller coaster. I don't know where my children are tonight because, today, they are not my children. I can't keep track of them. I don't know what they are eating or doing or who is carrying them. Before I get to know that info, before I get to hug them and play with them or read a single bedtime story, I need to prove to a bunch of people that I am worthy of being their parent. And I am spending nearly everyday afraid to breathe just in case I make a mistake because I would be devastated if my actions cost us our family. (Now you understand why I am so thoroughly annoyed when people have the gall to even question our desire to adopt! UGH!!)


So, my dear friends, bear with me if my posts less fiery then you know I can be, and there are still no baby pictures, and if some old entries are mysteriously missing. I mean no harm to anyone. Of course, I will keep writing and posting about the process and how I am feeling and my random thoughts and such. But please forgive me for being a scared hopeful mom. This process is very difficult. Very difficult indeed.