Ok, so here is how I wait....
I plant an herb garden...
I educate people on adoption related issues...
I decide to cut my hair...

Yes, you read that correctly. After 7 years, I have decided to remove my dreads. I've been thinking about removing them on and off for a while now. Finally, one morning not long ago, I woke up with a burning desire to let my hair be free. I still think my locs are lovely and cool. I still enjoy having long hair. I always thought I would keep them until I turned into a little grey-haired lady because I think grey locs are divine. But, whenever I go through a transition in life I feel the strong need to change my hair. I guess it's a little internal reminder that I am entering a new phase. For example:
-Got my first relaxer at 13, same day as my first strapless dress
-Added long braided extensions the summer before college
-Switched back to relaxers after college
-Cut out relaxer after move to Charlotte
-Put in dreadlocks few months before starting at the bank

As I am beginning to enter my next life phase into motherhood, it is not surprising that I am ready to change again.

There are some good reasons to take the dreads out. For starters, I really think it is a good habit to change your look from time to time. It keeps a person from falling in a rut. Also, I would have SO many more choices in how to wear my hair. Kinky hair is actually very versatile if you know how to style it. I could wear it curly, in a curly twist out, in some braids/cornrows, and (with the help of some rollers or a hair dryer) straight for a night out. I could actually wear hats...normal sized hats! I could sport a wig if I wanted to. (I might not wear one to work, but keep in mind I'm an actress...A wig for a part or for Halloween would be SO much fun!!)

Oh, and the color! My hair (when the sun can get to it) is brown with natural blond/red highlights. And really small, soft curls.

Another important reason, at least to me, is that my children will have kinky hair too. And they will probably not have dreadlocks. They might even have their hair cut very short. It would be so nice to show them that their hair is naturally lovely in whatever way they wear it. I want to be able to tell them from experience about all their hair choices. And if they decide to chemically straighten their hair one day, I want it to be a personal style choice, not because they don't know any other way to do it.

As a woman of color, I don't usually feel comfortable making major hair decisions without a bunch of thought and research. Unlike my fair-skinned sisters who cut and color and straighten hair to suit their style on a whim, I have to really think hard about what I might do. For starters, I work in a VERY corporate environment. I asked all sorts of people their thoughts and started dropping hints. I'd hate to get here with my hair in all its kinky glory and have people freak. No, they can't fire me, but there are ways to keep people down and stunt career growth. (Then again, dreadlocks are not as highly regarded as other natural styles.)

People are accustomed to my dreadlocks. It has become my signature, so to speak. Many people reading this never knew me otherwise. Would I still be cute? Would I still turn heads? Yes, it is vain, but I enjoy feeling pretty.

My husband is not really thrilled with the idea. He really likes me with hair. LOTS of hair. He has no issue with the natural texture, he just likes more length. He would prefer I did a comb out than a chop. I really tried by combing out three of them to see if I could do it. I can now say it is possible to comb out dreadlocks, but each one took over an hour to do. I have 100 individual locks left. That is 4-5 DAYS of combing my hair!!! Umm, if I have 4-5 days, I'd rather spend it doing something fun instead of combing my hair!

Hubby also remembers the drama I went through before I put in the dreads. I had the teeny-weeny afro (TWA) and was brand new to natural styling. I got frustrated because my hair is so curly that it wouldn't even go into a big afro. He just doesn't want me to have any hair issues or regret. (But he is looking forward to having it grow!)

I've made a lot of peace with my hair. My dreadlocks allowed me to feel beautiful, really beautiful, in a way I never felt with my processed hair. I remember those rare moments with straight hair when I felt like a pretty princess, I usually attributed it to the fact that my hair came out really straight and behaved for once. My dreads are never straight and I still wake up most days looking in the mirror saying, "Hey, Good-Looking!" I swear this was not always the case! It still makes me smile when someone asks me how to put in dreads for their own or their children's hair. Or when someone tells me my hair is beautiful. I smile because I actually believe it!!

I recently spoke at a teleclass on hair care for trans-racial adoptive parents. It was excellent and I had a great time researching and going back through pictures and remembering my own hair journey. I think I have enough confidence in myself to practice what I preach, so to speak. If I believe there is more to kinky hair than relaxers, braids, and dreadlocks, then shouldn't I reflect that?

And if I hate it, I can always go back to dreadlocks.

I will keep you all posted on the final result. I would also love to hear stories of your own major hair changes. Share the good, the bad, and the ugly!