I think too much and too large. Sometimes my thoughts are overwhelming. Those that have known me for years are accustomed to it and those that actually love me try to learn from it. (I don't know what the other people do. Probably run away from me because I am freaking them out.) But I embrace my thoughts and the emotions they generate fiercely, even when I think I might be swallowed by them.

I just came across these photos from the Boston Globe. They chronicle a family suffering from the current Ethiopian food crisis as it claims the life of their four year old daughter. http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/06/ethiopia_in_food_crisis_once_m.html

And my heart broke. I think of the women that gave birth to my children and what they might have gone through. I think of the other children we will meet in August coming to forever families in the United States. I fear what I will see in Ethiopia in a few weeks while at the same time I undauntedly push forward to get there.

I chastise myself for other things I am struggling with right now, that seem both petty and massive. There are some random things going on in various relationships that make me give pause, but when you look at the big picture I feel silly even thinking about it. But, those issues make my heart break a little, too, and I'm sure will continue to do so for a while.

Last week during rehearsals for Richard III, I started to cry. Not just "being in character" crying, though I'm sure the drama contributed. It was full blown, tears streaming down my cheeks, boo-hooing. And I am still not completely sure why. It was more than likely my body's way of dealing with everything going on in my life right now, including the lack of sleep. It quickly subsided and people were very concerned. I just said, "What can I say? Sometimes you have to cry."

So I am trying to put a million emotions into perspective and the truth is it is impossible because emotions cannot be measured based on their magnitude. It is the actions that the emotions inspire...that is the real story. Cry when you need to cry, laugh when you feel it, speak out for justice, hold someone tight that you care about. That will put it all in perspective.