Waking the Sleeping Queen

Waiting for the Storm

2011-01-10T04:03:00Z

I am behind on my writing by a day. Not horribly behind, but behind nevertheless. It was my goal to catch up today by doing two separate writing sessions, one in the morning and one at my usual time after the kids were in bed. For some reason, I forgot I am a mom of two toddlers who instinctively know when mommy has a deadline and have their timer set to go off at "naughty" at just the right moment. During my scheduled writing time, we had a bit of a naptime rebelion. When the skirmish was ended and the smoke cleared, the wee ones were sleeping...but I was wiped out and passed out on the couch.

When I woke up, Tadd announced he needed to run some errands that he wanted to get taken care of before the predicted snow storm came in time for tomorrow's commute. Right after he left, the kids woke up so I went to changed them and give them something to eat. Somehow, Peanut's diaper had managed to loosed and slip down his pant leg, thereby leaving him uncovered and soaking wet. Got him clean and dry, while Pumpkin chattered the entire time. "Mommy, I no lose my diaper. Mommy, I not wet. Mommy, I sit on potty. Mommy, I hungry. You hungry? Mommy, whatchu doing? Mommy, I want that. Mommy. Mommy."

The chattered continued as I got Pumpkin changed in to her playclothes. She almost lost her mind because the snap on her pants wasn't working properly. I told her it was broken, but she would be ok with having it left open since we were just hanging around (and because mommy NEEDED to do laundry and she and her brother were wearing the last pairs of clean pants.) Her need for order kicked in and she became whining and obsessed over the snap on her pants. (I am pretty sure she is an ENTP, for those out there familiar with Myers-Briggs. She is outgoing and sociable and loves to please, but when she is sure something is supposed to be a certain way, she becomes fixated and frustrated.)

We finally got them both down to the table with clean hands. I served them up plates of food...delicious mahi mahi burgers with homemade aioli, broccoli and, to encourage them to eat, pineapples for when the were through. There was some eating, but mostly playing...painting with the aioli, putting broccoli in cups. I noticed Peanut's mouth was still full. He is old enough to eat most foods properly but sometimes, just to be mischievous, he will hold food in his mouth like a chipmunk. "Chew and swallow, sweetie," I reminded him. Usually, that's all that needs to be said and he chews up the food and it all gets to his stomach with no incident. That was not to be today. Instead, he shoved a bit more into his mouth until he finally triggered our good old buddy, the gag reflex.

I will spare you the gory details and leave it to say it was not pretty.And it was all over the place. And those last pair of pants? Umm, yeah, he spend the rest of the evening hanging out in his diaper and a pair of dinosaur slippers. I gave up on my children getting any real nutrition and excused them from the table while I cleaned up the grossness.

There were some more squabbles over toys, some tantrums, and some whining before Tadd came home. My planned writing session turned into a distant, foggy memory of a person I confused myself with. After dinner, putting the kids down, walking the dog, cleaning the kitchen, answering work email, and taking down holiday decorations, I finally got to writing three pages. The story is coming along nicely and taking some interesting turns. I need to research legendary references alluding to fires in the sky not related to dragons or lightening. But that will need to be a project for tomorrow at some point when we are all snowed in. I might be kidding myself, though, since I will most likely be juggling work with entertaining two keyed up children while trying to combat cabin fever.

Today's Food Experiment

2011-01-08T04:37:00Z

I am discovering interesting perks about this new Paleo diet shift. I spend most of today eating well and with a noticeable change in how I feel. I really just felt GOOD. Not like wanting to run around like a maniac tapping dancing in the streets or anything like that, but an overpowering sense of contentment and balance in my whole body. I didn't realize how truly exhausted and anxious I really am from day to day until I wasn't. And in this state, I can see very marked differences in how different foods affect me. I had two cups of coffee today. One cup I made myself this morning: a large travel mug of Ethiopian coffee beans using a french press with some almond milk and honey added. I did have some hand shaking from that cup and I wished I could go outside and run off the extra burst of energy instead of forcing myself to keep it contained since I was in a team meeting. I still felt great, though, and my concentration levels were high.

Fast forward to later this afternoon. I met a friend for coffee at Starbucks. I was going to get tea, but I was curious what my usual no-fat caramel macchiato coffee would do to me. I was fine for a while...until after I got the kids to bed and started to do the things I planned for the evening. I was irritable. And aggravated. My mind kept racing about all the things I wanted to do to the point I was overwhelmed with where to start. And once I did finally start, Tadd kept trying to ask me questions and engage me in conversation, which annoyed me. REALLY annoyed me. Next thing I knew it was after 10 and I still hadn't written or worked on any of the wonderfully creative and relaxing things I planned to do before I was scheduled to go to bed by 10:30. The delicious feeling of balance is now replaced with my "normal" state of anxiety and being on edge. I could barely get through my writing pages (I eked something out though) and at one point, the idea flow abruptly turned off.

So, that officially takes fancy frou-frou coffee drinks off the list. Good riddance. I want the feel good state to come back. Tomorrow it is right back to meat and vegetables and fruit and herbal tea. I am scheduled to meet up with people for some exercise bright and early, which hopefully will help (if I don't feel totally wrecked when I wake up and it isn't snowing.) As long as all the not-good-for-me food keeps screwing with me, staying on this diet will be real easy!!

Good Mojo

2011-01-07T04:53:00Z

It really feels like the stars are aligned today. Not that anything really out of the ordinary happened, honestly. I just have a general sense of things are good and everything is going to be ok. I am having opportunties presented to me for a number of things I've asked for and longed for. I do acknowledge that things might not be any better than at other points in my life but that last year was just so horrendously awful that the smallest improvement feels like a monsoon of relief.

Whatever the reason, it feels good. Really, really good. Which leads me to believe that the decisions I had to make recently, especially some of the hard ones, were the right ones. Thank goodness, because I ruffled quite a few feathers of people that weren't fans of those decisions. It would have sucked to have gone through all that angst for nothing.

One thing that happened: I had to do a ton of work, and though I was mentally exhausted, I still like my job. That is a big deal to like the work that pays you and something rather foreign to me.

Second thing: I love my kids. I just do. They are awesome. I am so fortunate to be their mommy. Both of them were having these really intense conversations with me about what games they played today, whether or not they wanted me to read the lion and bunnies book (aka Tawny Scrawny Lion) or Tootle, and the concept that boys have penises and girls have vaginas, which of course includes them listing every boy and girl they've ever met and try to logically discern which bits those people have. (I have been told this is perfectly normal for their ages, so I try to refrain from giggling and to act like this is a perfectly normal conversation that I have all the time.)

Third thing: My husband actually did something really cool to support my theatre work. Also, a very big deal in our relationship. I am working on auditioning for some musicals (though I am so incredibly insecure about my singing). Not only did he take the time to transpose a song in a new key for me, he created a version with the vocal part and one with just piano, so I can rehearse as often as I'd like without someone to accompany me. It is pretty awesome and it was very special to me.

Fourth thing: I discovered people actually read this blog. And that they read it before my hiatus, too. Another actress who recently adopted a child told me that reading my blog got her through the process. That seriously made me cry. I strive to be a person who inspires people. Fame is nice and all, but unless my efforts are encouraging other people to do awesome things it is worthless. I can't wait to meet her baby!

Fifth thing: I am really digging the Paleo diet. No major weight loss yet, but no weight gain and I feel awesome. I also got an invitation to join a fitness boot camp that I am thinking about joining. Debating, but I am grateful for the opportunity

Sixth thing: I wrote my three pages AND a scene in a play I've been working on. It is my first original full-length play so we'll see what comes of it.

Seventh thing: Had a great meeting and some emails with folks in different theatre companies to see if I would be interested in working with them. It feels good to know I am not being kicked to the curb and people still want to work with me.

So, all in all, many good things. While I know that both good and bad times come and go, it's nice to appreciate what you've got.

ROW80 update

2011-01-06T04:54:00Z

It never ceases to amaze me how many times I jump through hoops for projects involving other people that I don't want to "let down" and how rarely I do that for myself. I am obviously getting better at it, though. Though I am exhausted and I should be sleeping, I forced myself to stay up and write my 3 pages. Ok, to be fair, it is at about 2.5 right now, but I wanted to get this post in before midnight. And I am probably going to skip the scene writing (though I DID find a really awesome sounding play concept that I can start writing on, so I did not totally forsake scriptwriting) I am giving myself a break on that, but the important part is I did it. I could have blown it off, but it is pretty insane to blow off myself. I mean, I have to live with myself everyday, right? Why would I be so worried about disappointing some other person but not worry about disappointing myself? Now I don't have to...I wrote and I'm proud.
Bonus: I added a really, REALLY intense scene that took my novel in a new direction. Hold on to something, I might have a real plot brewing!

New Year, New Beginnings

2011-01-05T02:15:00Z

It has been over a year since my last post. I've meant to blog. Truly, I did. But, I just didn't. (Facebook didn't help either.) I don't want to make excuses, but I do want to make some changes, which means more doing the things I love and less time explaining myself.

One of the things I love is to write. I miss it. So, I am taking up a new challenge to jump start my writing. I am signing up for ROW80 (Round of Words in 80 days). I'm a day late, but seeing how I haven't writing on my own blog in a year, I think I can let a day slide without beating myself up too much!

Here is my personal challenge that I am committing to: I will write 3 pages daily of a novel and one page (or one scene, depending on how the flow is for the day) of playwriting. That will mean I should have a sizable amount for a new novel and a new batch of plays.

There it is, folks. I'm back to writing, back to getting it together (and back to more funny stories in between.)

Friday Photos

2009-07-10T15:27:00Z

We are all still alive. Just tired. Well, mostly I'm tired. Scientists are still trying to figure out exactly how the Screaming Teenies synthesize their energy. Maybe they are solar powered? Or perhaps they have a way to harness the mysterious power of giggles?

My friend is working on her photography business so it was a great excuse to take some wonderfully adorable pictures. Enjoy!

http://tishmackay.zenfolio.com/p134576860

If you are local, please book her and get some cute pictures of your babies too!

One more thing...Antony & Cleopatra opens next week! Go to www.shakescar.org for info and tickets.

Another Openin'...Another Show

2009-06-13T23:57:00Z

Because I simply do not have enough to do in my life (I know, I'm laughing, too!) I continue to do theater. Is it hard to do with two children. Unquestionably. Could I use the time to do other important things, like clean my house and sleep. Certainly. Is it worth doing despite these things? Absolutely!

I've been in rehearsals for the Bard's Antony and Cleopatra produced by Shakespeare Carolina. I am taking on the role of the magnificent Cleopatra. This is a play that isn't done as often as the others (the level of pageantry scares companies off, I think, not to mention the numerous location changes between Rome to Egypt) but I believe it has some of the most beautiful and moving words that Shakespeare ever put to paper. I consider this one of the most challenging and fulfilling roles I've ever done.

The cast is beyond amazing. We have actors with all levels of experience on this production, from professionals to academics to returning from over decade hiatus to never set foot on a stage. And it just works! It isn't quite like a machine because we don;t move in forced rigid formation. We subtlety work off of each other every rehearsal in a lovely dance of words, motion, and feelings. And lots and lots of laughter.

Yes, I get mother's guilt that I am not tucking my kids in bed every night or that I need to hire a babysitter to cover those few hours when Tadd has a gig and I have rehearsal. At the same time, it feels good to have a break once in a while and to work with adults. I know after coming home from rehearsal, I feel a little more able to deal with what comes my way.

If anyone is interested, tickets for the show are now available online. http://www.carolinatix.org/default.asp?tix=59&objId=1385

Where's the Baby??

2009-05-31T03:21:00Z

The past two days were better...not the greatest, but better. I've tried some new stuff to deal with the tantrums. It all started when I found out that our daycare started putting on little guy on the potty! GASP!! I couldn't believe it. I wasn't expecting it at all. It isn't a set schedule or a big deal, but they try to get the older kids in the class used to the potty before they move to the two-year-old class.

This was an eye-opener for me because I realized my dear sweet baby boy will be a two-year-old in a mere four months!! Where did the time go? Better yet, WHERE DID MY BABY GO??!! Then, it hit me that our one year famiversary will be in three months!! (Two if you count it as the day we became parents legally.) I cannot believe it. They were just little itty bitty babies and now they are toddlers...practically big kids!!!

For the record, the idea of potty training children has been an irrational fear of mine for a while. Everything I read sounded confusing. And all these people that are selling programs on how to potty train. Which just made me anxious. I mean, am I going to have to hire a professional for this? For something me, my spouse, and all our friends (as far as I know) do everyday? And what about the inevitable...um...accidents? Are we going to need to start carrying heavy duty cleaners everywhere to take care of piles of waste? My husband has difficulty with that level of mess. I had a tough enough time housebreaking our dogs let alone trying to figure out the mysteries of the human gastrointestinal system. Of small humans that do not speak but like to scream.

However, I went to the store clutching my purse and hyperventilating as I ventured to the potty aisle. It was the same level of fear and anxiety I had when I first entered the new terrain of the the baby aisle over a year ago. I was really traumatized by the whole thing. Five different types of potty chairs?! Special wipes? Was toilet paper not ok? Then there were the potty seats that you add to the regular toilet. Why weren't there any plain ones? Did I really need one covered in animated movie princesses?

To add insult to injury, I tried to buy some big kid underpants as well. The smallest size available was 2T...which is still too big for Peanut at this point. That is part of my denial. He just looks too small to be almost two!

Bottom line is that I need to get over myself and start going with the flow. This is part of the package I signed up for as a parent. Your kids don't stay babies forever. Today potties, tomorrow driving, two weeks from now marriage. Peanut is throwing tantrums because, well, that's what toddlers do. He wants to start being a big kid and doing more stuff on his own. And I was still treating him, in some ways, like he was still a baby. He is still MY baby, but he is growing up.

I referred to one of my favorite parenting books by Tracy Hogg. (I really like most of the Baby Whisperer techniques) I read her book on toddlers a while ago, but, once again, I needed a reminder. We changed some of our routines to help Peanut be able to do more on his own. We spend more time making transitions. Like in the morning, I pulled out two shirts and let him pick the one he wanted to wear (notice he doesn't get to choose whether or not he will wear a shirt, just which one). I asked him which he wanted to put on first, his shirt or his shorts. Then we moved to a new diaper. Of course, it was easier since I let him sit on his new potty first so he was most of the way there with getting the diaper on. At dinner, he threw and tantrum and he was removed from the table until he calmed down. And he did not throw one during the meal that followed. This evening at dinner, he maneuvred his spoon to scoop food into his mouth all by himself. And he actually got most of it in there, too. Before bed, I give him things to put away to help clean up. All in all, there were way more smiles and far fewer tears. Except from me, maybe. *sigh*

Oh, and you will be proud to know (or maybe you won't, but whatever) there were two...count em, folks! TWO...successful potty moments.

I pray we remember all of this in a few months when we get to do it all over again for Pumpkin.

Land of A Thousand Tantrums

2009-05-27T01:31:00Z

Ah, how quickly they grow. One day, your kids are rolling over and learning to clap their hands. The next day, they are screaming and kicking their way through tantrums at least three times a day. That's right, I've got toddlers. Hoo-ray.

I am trying very hard to be patient. No small feat with a wee person with surprising strength grabbing at everything and screaming. And when Peanut screams, it is like he auditioning to be a horror movie extra.

I was always taught to ignore tantrums and they will pass. Obviously, this advice was for kids with less stamina. The longer my boy screams, the longer (and louder) he will continue to scream. Some of it might be related to his hard beginnings, so I want to tread very , very carefully. But I also don't want to automatically give in to his angry rants just to keep him quiet. giving. It might seem like a quick solution, but I've seen plenty of older kids and teens with parents that did the same thing with very undesirable results. It is a tricky balancing act.

The good news is that he is an all-around happy and lovable kid. Yes, he can be whiny, but people love to have him around. Sometimes, I wonder if he saves this "special" behavior just for me...fortunately, Tadd's had some of it too, so my ego is preserved.

I listened to an on-line lecture delivered by Karyn Purvis, the author of The Connected Child. I read the book while we were waiting.(http://vimeo.com/4013209) but I really needed to get a reminder. In fact, I recommend that families take notes on material you read while you wait...you might need a refresher once the theories get put into practice.

I think I've got an idea when the tantrums come.
-If we wait too long to come to the room when he wakes from sleep. Even if we just come in the room and talk to him while he stays in his crib, that is acceptable. We just can't dawdle once he is awake.

-Diaper changes. When the diaper needs changing, he doesn't like to stop whatever he is doing. Therefore, he lets us know that he is not happy about it. Which is a bummer since he is not quite ready for potty training. These are the most frustrating tantrums right now since I am focusing on not getting peed on while focusing on being calm.

-Bedtime taking too long. He is tired. We are coming to the end of dinner. He has decided he is over it and wants down. NOW!!!

-Anytime he is angry about something. Nuff said.

We discover new ones every day. Some I can figure out, but some I cannot. Like the other night. Everything was going hunky-dory during bathtime when all of a sudden...WAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!! We still aren't sure what was up with that. We just dried him off, put on his pj's and cuddled him. Which, I suppose, is all we can do sometimes.

And it isn't all a struggle I swear! Take a look at this video of my little munchkins just being supa cute!
http://www.vimeo.com/4837880

And enjoy some sweet pictures in the back yard.

Princess Pumpkin prefers a big girl chair to the small chairs the peasants use.

And her brother, Prince Peanut, thought it was a good idea, too

First Mother's Day!

2009-05-11T02:55:00Z

It has been way too long, people. Did you miss us all? We missed you! April was a whirlwind of constant travel, hence the absense of blog entries. The best advice I can give about traveling with two small children? Stay home instead.

Today was my very first Mother's Day! WOOT WOOT! It is strange to be able to add a new holiday to your calendar. I got flowers and cards kissed by my beautiful children. We went to a brunch buffet at a nice restaurant up the street and the kids had a blast. Now that they are walking, they garner even more attention than before. Just wait till they start talking...We won't be able to go anywhere without a crowd!

We went to services this morning after our month long hiatus. (Did I mention the crazy travel?) The rector gave a lovely prayer in honor of mother's day. I wish I could remember it all, but I'll try to give the gist:

To all our mothers

To the mothers of our children

To those desperate to become mothers

And those who the journey towards motherhood seems so far away

To those mothers unable to care for their children

And those mothers unwilling

And to those mothers who welcome children in their arms and hearts

To spiritual mothers that love us

And mothers that join families in different ways

To mothers, grandmothers, birth mothers, adoptive mothers, godmothers, stepmothers...to all types of mothers

May the blessings of God find you this day as we celebrate you and what you mean to all of us!

Happy Easter!!

2009-04-13T02:14:00Z

Wow, there are so many things to write about, but I'll just try to summarize. Easter is a very special holiday for my husband and it. It was during Lent that we suffered our first miscarriage. It was such a difficult time in our marriage and in our lives. We both turned to our faith for strength to get through and really learned about our relationship with God. I am thankful for that painful struggle, though it broke my heart, because without it, I would not have grown. I would not understand need to cling to my faith and let of ideas of how I think life should be in favor of a life that is better than I could imagine. I learned to let go and to let God. I am not a master by any stretch of the imagination, but I am getting better at it. When things disappoint...family, friends, job...I try hard to release it. I don't always succeed and I do vent a bit, but in the end, I trust it is all taken care of. And so far, it always is!

Today we had a mad-cap day at church. Hubby played trumpet (as usual) and I sang int he choir (which is new). Babies spent the morning being loved on by various parishioners int he church nursery. When they say it takes a village, that is no joke! I would not have made it to services without the help of various friends offering to pitch in...carrying babies, carrying diaper bags, changing gross diapers, helping me get into my robes. Total team effort today. And it is so hard for me to accept help! (I am learning that successful moms with happy babies know how to ask for help and take it when it is offered. I look forward to the day I can repay the favor to another new mom.)

Even with all the mayhem, I loved spending Easter with the kids. The egg hunt was so cute! I am so, so thankful to have these moments, especially after going through the dark valley of suffering. It just makes these special days with the kids all the sweeter. As the rector said during this morning's sermon, "There can be no Easter without Good Friday." You can't fully appreciate all the blessings you have until you know times without.

Ok, enough theology. How bout some cute pictures?

So busy I couldn't get out of my choir robes for a while. But aren't my kids CUTE?!

Who needs eggs when you have a candy wrapper?

Discovering that the eggs open up...

...But not loving what is inside

Easter is so much fun!

It Happens To Everyone

2009-04-03T01:17:00Z

Ugh! I've been taken down by the flu. At least I think it is the flu. Fever, chills, aching. This is day two. I've been trying to rest as much as possible, but it isn't easy. I work full-time and unemployment is ever lurking. That is why after the kids go to bed I am working leads like crazy. Just not the past two days. It is just enough for me to to send off the most crucial emails to my full time job and then go back to bed.

Believe it or not, this post is not about my flu or about work. It is actually about hair.

Tadd picked up the kids from daycare today. They told him to make sure we wash our baby girl's hair tonight because they saw dandruff. Are you kidding me? Trust me when I say we regularly wash both our children's hair. We conditioner wash every day and a shampoo wash twice a week. I apply hair moisturizer every morning before styling hair. Usually I let her curls stay loose since cornrowing takes a while and time has been limited. Sometimes we do little puffs. Simple and cute.

But lately, the ladies have taken a liking to Pumpkin's hair. They started cornrowing it during the daytime. I don't have a problem with it. I know people love her hair and practice makes perfect. I should have known when one woman spent a while asking me what I use to oil her scalp. (To all new moms of children of African or Caribbean descent: Any questions/comments about scalp oiling is a test to see if you know what you are doing.)

Here is the deal. I do not use hair grease on my daughter's hair. I feel it weighs her fine locks down to much. I also don't use Vaseline for the same reason. (Which has also been suggested to me many times) When I see scalp dryness (she had some intense flaking when she came home) I use Vitamin E oil or olive oil. Nothing too greasy or petroleum based. I use a thicker product for my own hair, because my hair is kinkier and thicker, but still not petroleum based.

Tonight (though I am still achy all over from the flu) I undid all the cornrows that were put in her hair today. I saw absolutely NO dry patches. I saw two flakes, which could have questionably been crackers. We washed and conditioned her hair as scheduled. I moisturized it with Carol's Daughter's Hair Milk. And then I cornrowed it again myself.

Were the cornrows perfect? No, not at all. Her loose curls are not as easy to wrangle into nice neat rows and I'm definitely not a professional. But I am her mommy and I take that job very seriously. No one needs to remind me to care for her, feed her, or wash her hair. That's what I signed up for.

I've talked about this in my hair seminars that sometimes women will try to make new moms feel inadequate and incapable of caring for their childrens' hair. No one group of people has a monopoly on hair care. Yes, people do have to learn. No one is born knowing how to do hair. There is no reason for people to be snide about it. It would be one thing if dryness was a pattern and someone politely asked a mom if she needs some assistance. It is another thing to make a comment in passing after a one time incident.

So to the moms new to Black haircare, do not despair and do not give up. Do not resign yourself to a life of weekly trips to the beauty salon. Do not feel the only way to make sure your child looks well groomed is to straighten her hair because you are unfamiliar with the coils. That is precisely how negative self images are created. Stick with it, ask for help when you need it, and be confident.

And just remember...those little comments you'll inevitably hear? They happen to everyone...

Haregewoin Teferra

2009-03-25T03:33:00Z

Haregewoin Teferra, the woman featured in the well-known book There Is No Me Without You, passed away a few days ago. I just read about it on Melissa Fay Greene's website.

http://www.thereisnomewithoutyou.com/blog?op=view&id=63

Please consider helping the children she left behind. I was incredibly touched by her story. She suffered through terrible tragedy in her life but allowed herself to be a vehicle of love and care for orphaned children, some infected with HIV, when others turned away. Her work, compassion, and love was an amazing testiment to what ONE person can do against an overwhelming crisis!! ONE person can make a difference in this world!

Apples of My Eye

2009-03-24T02:12:00Z

Have you read the book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell? I read it over over Christmas holidays and I found it fascinating. Gladwell spends the book analyzing what makes people successful. What are the special characteristics that make those people especially unique? I won't spoil it all for you since it is a great read, but one thing he emphasizes is the importance of nurturing talent. It isn't just the fact that the brilliant and talented are brilliant and talented. Someone has to notice and encourage that talent, or else, sadly, the potential is never realized.

I've studied the Nature versus Nurture debate for years. In fact, I did my AP Biology project in high school on that very topic. (I choose not to share how long ago that was.) So the theories in Outliers really hit home for me. Not just for myself as I struggle to find my calling, but also for the kids. I believe part of my responsibility as a parent is to nurture and encourage my childrens' gifts. The book gave me another way to think about it. Nurturing those gifts will positively affect my children, my grandchildren, and generations of children that I will never meet. Amazing, isn't it?

So, Tadd and I have been on the lookout for emerging gifts in the kiddos. Ok, I know that what they like today might be totally different later one. But maybe not. I was a very talkative child that loved to imagine herself in movies. Though I went through a painfully shy period due to my environment, I made my way back. Who knows what would have happened if my folks caught on to my dramatic flair earlier and took me to plays or acting lessons?

Well, I think we might be seeing the beginnings of an interest...and fortunately it is something I am already familiar with...



Peanut loves playing drums! I thought it was a fluke at first, but nope...he digs them! I had a gig a couple of weeks ago so I pulled out my huge tumba drum. I thought it would be fun to play a little for the babies. Pumpkin kinda laughed and then played with something else. Peanut's eyes grew wide and he tried to climb the drum. Then he proceeded to clap and dance along with the music. Hmmm...

The clincher was the drum Mimi and Gramps gave Pumpkin for her birthday. She hasn't been wild about it, but it is Peanut's favorite thing. He banged with one hand for a while, no big deal. What amazed me was when he walked around, found the other stick, and proceeded to beat the drum with two sticks and alternating motions. After a while, he even started dancing and adding some shoulder moves to it, like he was doing a kicking solo. It was priceless!



Which leads me to the theory that the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree...even if the branches were grafted on. Poor Tadd might have another drummer to listen to!

Pumpkin is so active that everything seems to entertain her equally. (Well, except looking in the mirror. That really is her favorite.) Perhaps she just hasn't been exposed to her thing yet. Maybe she will love mathmatics. Or painting. Or sports. Perhaps she will have a future as a yoga practitioner...


OOOOOHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMM....

Why you should not mess with Mommy...

2009-03-21T05:08:00Z

Here's the deal...I do not like to be picked on. And I really hate when people act as though they can do whatever they want, whenever they want, just because no one is willing to stand up to them.

And I especially will not tolerate this behavior in children.

Here's the story. Tadd and I made plans with a friend and her dad to go out to a movie. We arranged for a babysitter to put the kids to bed and bath and went. I even put on cute jeans and a fun t-shirt. We decided to go to a theater where we've had mixed experiences. Same movie theater with the freaking out baby on Valentines' Day. A place where there are usually large groups of teens loitering or fighting in the parking lot. But, we gave it another chance. (Why, oh why, do we just not follow our gut?!) We went to see Knowing. Right as the dialogue started, the speakers began crackling loudly. We couldn't hear any dialogue. We sat for 20 minutes when they tried to get it fixed, to no avail. So we left. After a quick conference, we decided to go see another movie. Slasher flick? No thanks. Action movie with great actor. Hmm, some people already saw it. We decided to suck it up and see the cutesy Confessions of A Shopaholic. Best movie? No, of course not. But we were actually OUT for goodness' sakes and we wanted to watch a movie. After all, we paid our money and arranged for a babysitter and coordinated schedules and everything.

The movie was cute and we were having a good time with it. Then, towards the end, a group of 4-5 young teen boys came bursting through the theater. They were cracking up loud and ran to the back. Ok, I get it. Theater hopping. We've all done it as teens, whatever. The trouble was, they wouldn't keep quiet. Not just an annoying whisper, either. Loud whooping. Making comments to the girls in front of them (who were enjoying the movie the whole time we were) Just being generally obnoxious. After about 20 minutes of that, some of the girls told them to be quiet. They didn't. Then Tadd turned around and said "If y'all are going to keep talking, you need to go out of the theater." To which they responded by repeating his comment in a mocking voice and laughing hysterically at their own brilliance.

Boys, you just ticked off the wrong woman.

I whipped my head to the back of the theater. "Hey!" I shouted. "You kids need to knock it off!" They responded with more laughter to which I stood up. "You think that's funny?! We are trying to watch a MOVIE HERE!! Everyone here is watching the movie but YOU!!" I think they were starting to realize they might not have as much fun mocking people as they would have liked, so they started to swagger down the steps, sucking in their teeth. Then they made another crucial mistake of using the B-word and commenting on my kinky hair, just loud enough for me to hear it.

OH NO THEY DIDN'T!!!!

I promptly threw my purse in the seat and followed them out. There they all were standing there in the hall. "NO!" I pointed my finger at that. "Oh, HECK NO! (By the way, I gave up swearing for Lent, so my language was very clean, albeit heated) You do NOT come in theaters acting like that! I am a grown woman and I paid a lot of money to be here tonight, not to MENTION having to get a babysitter. You are NOT going to stand there and disrespect me and everyone else. No, SIR, not TODAY!!"

I was walking full speed during this whole tirade. They started to slink away, trying to disappear. Except one. One of them sucked his teeth and started to casually walk. Then he realized, I was not going away. It scared him a little, I think. He stopped and so did I. "What?" I shouted "You made a comment to me before. Whatcha got to say now?" He started to get indignant. "I'm not bothering you." "Actually," I snapped "You are. You are being rude. I did not come here to listen to you and to be insulted, all right?! I am a grown woman and I am NOT going to tolerate this from some misbehaving children!"

With that I marched right back to Guest Services. On the way, all the movie theater workers watched me storming through the halls with looks of fear and intrigue. I can imagine what was going through their minds, "Oh, snap! This little woman is TICKED!"

I went to the guest desk to the manager there. "Excuse me." I demanded. "There are a bunch of hoodlum kids in Theater 20, right now!" The man nodded, and immediately got on his walkie-talkie. I spun around on my heel and marched back to the theater, followed by a team of theater management in suits and uniforms. "Paid good money...first movie was broken and now I gotta put up with this...they must of lost their minds..." If those kids thought Madea was scary, I was worse...because I was live and unpredictable.

And get this...those kids were so arrogant, they went back to the theater. Are you kidding me?! Obviously, it was a group the staff has dealt with before, because management was able to round them all up and told them to leave. We all went back to watch the last few minutes of the movie.

After the film ended and the audience walked out, I apologized to the girls that were in the theater with us and thanked them for being respectful. One of them said "No, actually we thank you! They were back there being very nasty. I'm glad someone said something."

Now, here's where I probably should have been nervous. The boys were all starting right outside of the movie theater exit. It looked like they were just waiting for us to come out. I said I probably should have been nervous...but I wasn't. I just got more incensed.

Just the whole mentality that they could do and act anyway they felt like because no one would stand up to them. Because people are too afraid or too polite or too whatever. Hmmm, funny, I don't get to do whatever I'd like to whoever, whenever I'd like. And if these kids don't learn know that every action causes a reaction of some sort, they will do something even worse than insulting a frazzled angry mom. And those kids were not gang members with weapons. They were just being punk kids, thinking it was cool to act that way.

I marched right out there and spoke right up. " Why are you all standing around the exit? What? Did you think I wouldn't say anything?? You all have no business hovering around here and you all need to go on home!!"

Again, they were expecting that. I heard a few mutters. "Excuse me? Whatcha say? Seriously, I will call the police on all of you RIGHT NOW if you don't knock it off!!" I almost added in "And pull up your pants, but I restrained myself. I totally, totally turned into my mother. She wouldn't have tolerated foolishness either. And I grew up to believe that if your parents weren't around and you were acting up, another parent would step in...or worse, tell your parents and then you would REALLY be in trouble!

The theater staff had all the boys sit down on the benches in front of the building while they waited for their parents to come pick them up. They gave us free passes for our inconvenience. I'm not mad at the staff. They are trying to run a business, in a tough economy. But I probably won't be back there for a while. I have no desire to have that type of scenario every time I go out with my spouse.

I said to someone recently, "Gosh, I just pray that Peanut & Pumpkin will not grown up to act a-fool!" My friend laughed and said, "Um, with a no nonsense mom like you that loves them? I don't think you have anything to worry about!" I hope she is right. Thankfully, right now the worst thing they do is throwing toys out of their crib.

But, just in case, if you see my children when they are teens one day acting completely out of line and being horribly rude and disrespectful, please let them know to stop. Oh, and call me on the phone and tell me what they did.

To the People Who Pranked Our House Last Night

2009-03-13T03:03:00Z

Dear Rudeness,

Don't call our house again. I know it might seem like a good idea to call a phone number repeatedly at 2:00 AM, but it really isn't. Perhaps you were intoxicated. Or trying to call a number of a person you are hoping to date. Or both. I recommend you lay of the sauce and understand that even if the person did give you the correct number (which they didn't) calling five times and hanging up is not attractive.

Or perhaps you are a kid at a slumber party. Once again, not really funny. You didn't even say anything. You just kept calling and hanging up. Why aren't you in bed? You kids have to be in school in the morning.

If you are a mentally unbalanced fan of this blog just trying to get my attention, prank me again and I will call the police and have you thrown in jail.

Seriously, I am a full-time working mother of two very active toddlers. Fortunately, phone rings don't wake them. Unfortunately, they wake up parents who will need to tend to aforementioned children VERY early in the morning. I end of staying up late many days in order to cook the dinner, clean the house, set out items for the next morning, listen to whatever wants spouse is dying to tell me and still find time to build businesses. So sleep is HIGHLY important to me.

In summary, you are an idiot and a tool. Don't prank my house again.

Sincerely,

Dangerously Tired Mother

New School

2009-03-10T03:23:00Z

Today, the kids started a new day care. We loved having in-home care, but with such a tight budget, we just couldn't afford it any more. Even with two toddlers, day care is still far less expensive. The kids had a really good time. They got right to playing and did not even give me a moment's glance when I said goodbye. When I returned to take Peanut to his cranial check-up, I asked how they were doing and if they cried at all. Nope, not a tear all morning. I was so glad. The thing is, our kids don't get to play with other little ones as much. Mostly because Mommy has to work. Which means, there are few playdate possibilities. They have the church nursery on Sunday morning and a few group events, but that's about it. I really love the idea of them socializing with other children.
The challenge came when I entered the room. Pumpkin was on her nap mat and was just waking up. Peanut was on his mat and had just fallen asleep. Great...I was disrupting both of them.

Pumpkin realized quickly that I was taking her brother and not her and her little lip trembled. She grabbed my leg and started to wail. Her "No! I don't want this! Do what I say NOW!" wail. It is the same one she gives when we have to end play to change a diaper or do bathtime. Not that I'm saying she wasn't genuinely upset. I didn't know how to help her understand that I would be right back and her brother had to go to the doctor and that I would come back later to take them both home for dinner, bath and story. Instead, I gave her a hug and a kiss and a toy to play with. Then we left. I felt so bad for my little Princess Pumpkin! I know she was having fun and is well cared for. And, on the plus side, it is obvious that our attachment is going well. I just didn't like seeing my little girl so unhappy.

And at the end of the day, I came back and they were all sitting with the other toddlers on cute little itty-bitty chairs all around a table, doing an activity. No tears and perfectly content. When they say me they both started laughing and clapping their hands. And then, get this...Pumpkin didn't seem in a rush to leave. She wanted to show me the toys first, and then roll around on the floor.

I think by Thursday they will be acting like they've been there forever.

One weird and interesting part? I had mother's guilt all the way home and upon coming to a quiet house. I had thirty minutes before I needed to log in on my work computer and no one to feed, change, clean, walk, dress, or play with. I had something I haven't had in months. FREE TIME!! All to myself! Guess what I did? Write? Read? Run lines? No, no and no. Those are all items on my daily To-Do list that never, ever ends.

What did I do with those rare thirty minutes? I took a long over-due NAP!!

Go Shorty! It's Your Birthday!

2009-03-08T03:58:00Z

It's been so long since I've posted. Did you miss me? I missed blogging, very much. There is a whole lot of life remodeling going on, so please excuse the chaos. Consistent blogging is on the horizon!

Today we celebrated Pumpkin's first birthday! Yes, my sweet baby girl is one year old. It is amazing how much she's grown in the past six months. She's is a little firecracker and today was a great time to celebrate the beautiful little person she is. She is making amazing progress developmentally and she keeps us all on our toes. When I said in a previous post that she is walking, I was incorrect. She mostly runs. And we couldn't imagine it any other way!

So, without further ado, on to the cute pictures!

Princess Pumpkin

Is this not an adorable one-year-old?

Favorite present for a one-year-old? Why, the tissue paper, of course!

Peanut plays the skins for his sis. Woohoo, now it's a party!

Miss Thang posing for her favorite photographer, Daddy.

Peanut is so excited his little sister is finally one!

He is literally head over heels

The Princess declared, "Let them eat cupcakes!"

This was about one second before she made a swipe at the flame. No children were harmed in the making of this photo.

Cupcake and a bottle to wash it down

Peanut got in on the fun

It was a really fun afternoon for the kids, for the grandparents and for us. Unfortunately, all the sugar went to Pumpkin's head. She ended up not being able to fall asleep until three and a half hours after bedtime. Poor Princess Pumpkin! Hopefully, she will sleep in a little tomorrow.

Happy Valentines' Day

2009-02-15T05:21:00Z

Ahh, Valentines' Day. All hearts and flowers and candy, right?

Oh come on, people, you know me better than that!

Ok, it started out pretty well. Mr. T bought me roses. Very nice. I had an appointment to meet a friend for lunch at the mall. Also nice. Plus, due to a scheduling mix-up, I had to bring the babies with me. Hmmmm, nice, but with the potential of being not nice.

Off the three of us go to the mall. As I put the kids in the stroller, I catch of whiff of something very familiar...My dear Pumpkin was ready for a change. No sweat! After I received a call from my friend saying she would be late, I knew the timing was just right. I would get my girl changed without skipping a beat. I walked through the department store children's area, glancing quickly at the cute clothes on clearance. And for a moment I thought about stopping to buy something. Nah, I thought, maybe some other time. (Oh, Irony...wicked, wicked Irony)

We got to the changing area, an open room with a sink, and I sang a little song while setting up the changing pad and lifting up my girl. When I unbuttoned her, I saw it...the most terrible, foulest poonami of a blowout. I stood there with my mouth agape, absolutely speechless. Pumpkin giggled. I will spare you the details but to say it was probably the some of the foulest stuff I've ever seen. It was almost overwhelming and everywhere. And all while she was wearing the white pants she was wearing that was a sweet gift from her grandparents. Classic...

I got on my cell phone to call my friend, "Umm, are you close? Ok, good. We have a situation. I need you to come directly to the changing room in Belk's. I'm gonna need a little help here."

So while I gave my sweet little munchkin an impromptu bath in the department store sink (baby wipes were simply no match for the mess) my friends shopped for a complete outfit. (Extra points to her because the outfit even matched Pumpkin's shoes that were still unscathed from the disaster. Did I mentione we were also at the mall for her wedding dress?) See, this is why I try to remain social and spent time with my friends. You just never know when you'll need some help with a naked, dirty baby.

Evening was slightly better. Hubby and I got a babysitter and had dinner and a movie. After our first choice being sold out, we decided to watch Coraline. Great movie and I highly recommend it. However, we were amazed by the fact the family behind us chose to bring their very young toddler to the film. No surprisingly, the kid freaked out. Poor thing was just sobbing his eyes out.. begging his mommy to help him. And the mom just kept telling him to shush. I wanted to just turn around and say, "DUH! He's scared and tired! Take that poor baby to bed!!"

Luckily, another woman beat me to it.

I am not a big fan of babies at movies. Maybe a fun matinee would be okay...with a bunch of other kids..for a classic film event that everyone has seen before so you know what to expect. Not a spooky stop-animation flick from the people that brought you A Nightmare Before Christmas. Movies are dark places and very loud. Not to mention it was well after 8:00 pm on Valentines' Day. If you want a nice family evening, go to a family friendly place. Because, with kids, you have to plan for the worst case scenario. I failed to plan for my mall trip and I was caught with a dirty baby and no change of clothes. The difference is, I changed my plans to make sure the kids were cared for. Movie Mom tried her best to convince her kid to calm down so she could continue her movie experience.

The good part is we finally got to come home and enjoy a nice glass of wine. Finally, a nice and relaxing grown-up moment...before we both started to doze off.

Happy Valentines' Day everyone! I hope it was fun of joy for all of you and your families!

She's on the Move!

2009-01-20T04:46:00Z

Big news for Pumpkin. She is WALKING, you guys! For real!! She took her first wobbly steps on Christmas and now she is all over the place. Once I figure out how to upload video, I'll let you all see it. (Advice will be greatly appreciated)

Look out world! Pumpkin in on the move!!!